Green Heron. Anhinga Boardwalk, Everglades NP

“Hey! What are you looking at?! I swear, since they made me ABA Bird of Year, I can’t go anywhere without drawing a crowd. No privacy. No time off for good behavior. I am expected to be super-star quality all the time, every moment. The pressure! I can’t peek out of my reeds and brush without some photographer snapping a pic. And fishing? Forget fishing. Have you ever tried to fish with a crowd of photographers looking over your shoulder? They are trying to photograph every fish and caterpillar I take. I think they are keeping score. Green Heron 4, fish 24. Like that. Pressure.

“And the other herons are giving me a real hard time about it. “What makes you so special all of a sudden. What are we? Feather dummies?” And the Egrets. They are fit to be tied…you have not been snubbed until you have been snubbed by a Snowy Egret and don’t even get me started on the Greats! The Cattle Egrets just blow raspberries and giggle. It is really doing a number on my nerves.

“And they aren’t paying me anything at all…certainly not what I am worth. I mean, this is some kind of endorsement deal right? I need a new agent. Near as I can see the ABA is raking it using my name, my reputation, my star-power, and I get nothing! How is that fair? I don’t remember signing the papers that said they could use my face in this Bird of the Year thing.

“And now I got the IRS on my back too! Give me a break. I can’t wait for 2015 to be over. I ought to go just hide in the deep reeds until then…and I would, but I do feel some obligation to my fans. Maybe at least everyone will stop calling me a Green-back Heron by the end of the year. Didn’t anybody get the memo about the name change? What does a bird have to do? I don’t need the INS on me too.

“So, buddy, this is the face you get…this is my ABA Bird of the Year face! Like it or lump it. It is not like I asked for it or anything…”

Sony HX400V. 818mm equivalent field of view. 1/640th @ ISO 500 @ f5.6. Processed in Lightroom on my Surface Pro 3 tablet.